If I Loved You Less Read online

  But nothing. It was fun and she was glad to see her friend, but that’s where it ended. Austin set her down and, with a quick squeeze, released her.

  “Austin, it looks incredible! How long have you been setting up? And why are all these people here? I thought we were supposed to help you.”

  He shrugged and gestured around. “Word got out, and apparently there’s not much to do in Hanalei?”

  His words were teasing and good-natured, so Theo let him off easy with a light punch to his stomach, whereas she would’ve wanted to smash Stella Ashley’s face in if she’d said anything similar. “There’s plenty to do here; you know that.”

  One of his perfect eyebrows kicked up as he shot her one of those charming grins. “After dark?”

  Theo rolled her eyes and planted her hands on her hips, but he wasn’t wrong. “Okay, you’ve got a point there. But still, I feel bad, like I’m shirking my duties or something.”

  And wouldn’t Charlotte and Kini be proud of her for that? Not shirking, but considering that she could have.

  “No, no,” he said, looping an arm around her shoulders and guiding her around the room to see all the preparations. “You’re fine. I didn’t know this many people would show up, and it’s not like I’m some sort of taskmaster. I’ve been providing refreshments.”

  Austin pointed toward a table that was practically groaning under the weight of liquor and mixer bottles, and a parade of coolers along the wall beside it were labeled with their contents: beer, light beer, hard cider, soda, water. Okay, so the dude knew how to keep people hydrated. He’d definitely gotten the host gene from his dad.

  “And, of course, Kody is going to be slinging pizzas for us, and Kini’s supposed to be here any minute with a bunch of snacks. I told her cookies and shortbread and stuff. Nothing that needed a fork and nothing that was going to get frosting or cream on my suit.”

  The party was well underway, and Theo had been dancing all night long. Mostly with Austin because he was the only one who could keep up with her. They’d been texting each other YouTube videos of the Hustle and other seventies awesomeness since Austin had bought his plane ticket.

  She was having such a good time; the only thing that was bumming her out was that Laurel did not seem to be having a good time. No one had asked her to dance, even though she looked awesome, was a competent dancer, and had been in town long enough to know most people. Even Jessica had been out on the floor a few times, and with her frostiness, it was a wonder anyone found her more approachable than Laurel. But maybe that was the problem. Laurel was radiating a desperation for attention, and that could put people off.

  Also the Ashleys were here, which couldn’t be easy on her, and they’d come in these ridiculous matching outfits and had been parading around the floor all night long looking like they’d choreographed their moves. It was a few steps farther than Theo had gone, and she wished they’d freaking lighten up and not try to be the center of attention. Until Stella broke a heel anyway and stormed off to fix it.

  Then Brock was standing there, tapping his toes like he couldn’t wait to get out on the floor. He was only a few feet from Laurel, but wouldn’t even look at her. Though Theo couldn’t hear anything and was only catching glimpses of the scene as she shook her groove thing, Theo could surmise that he’d asked a couple of other partners and been refused, and yet still he wouldn’t go anywhere near Laurel. What an absolute turd muffin. He was lower than turtle shit, and the guilt that she’d ever encouraged Laurel to think of him as a romantic goal crumpled her stomach like one of the many empty beer cans collected around the recycling box.

  She was a minute away from ditching out on Austin to haul Laurel onto the floor when she saw her wander over to the sweets table where Kini was pulling boxes from under the table and refreshing the picked-over offerings. Kini hadn’t danced all night either, which was a shame. The woman had rhythm, and she could shake those lush hips of hers with the best of them, not to mention that she had a shimmy to die for. But, of course, this was probably too frivolous for her. At least Laurel would have some company for a few minutes.

  But the next time Theo stole a glance over Austin’s shoulders, Laurel and Kini where nowhere to be found. Had they—

  No freaking way.

  “Dancing Queen” had come on, and Kini had taken Laurel’s hand and was towing her onto the dance floor. And then there they were, maybe not the most graceful pair in the place, but at least they were having fun. Kini took the lead and spun Laurel about—the whole thing was ridiculously anachronistic, but who cared? It was adorable, and affection for Kini swelled Theo’s heart so full it overflowed.

  Yes, Kini was a good person, a kind person, one who was considerate and would do her duty. But this was more than that. Laurel would have been okay had Kini not stepped in, and Theo had to believe this wasn’t out of some great fondness for Laurel on Kini’s part. No, she was pretty certain that Kini’s presence had something to do with Laurel being her friend, and a wave of gratitude joined the affection in the puddle that was swamping her chest.

  It wasn’t so much later that Theo needed her own break. Her father had been right about one thing at least—she did need sustenance. Before anything else, Theo grabbed and downed a water and then started to sip at a second. She should probably eat something before she had any of the alcohol on offer, so she headed over to where Kini had slipped behind the table once again and was withdrawing another box, this one crammed with white chocolate macadamia nut cookies.

  Before the locusts could descend, Theo grabbed one and waited patiently while Kini set out her wares. When she was finished, she came over with a piece of lemon poppy seed biscotti that had been drizzled with glaze.

  Theo dropped her mouth open, then tsked at Kini. “You weren’t supposed to put frosting on anything. Austin’s going to be grumpy.”

  Austin was far too busy leading most of the partiers in a Soul Train-style dance-off to think of much of anything other than his next disco-tastic move, and they both knew it.

  “First of all, I’ve dealt with far bigger grumps than the likes of Austin Winters. Second, he’s busy. Third, this is glaze, not frosting, so he can take his complaints about frosting and sit on them.”

  Kini held out the last bit of biscotti, and Theo bit off the end, loving the concentrated burst of sweet and tart the lemon glaze provided, followed by the crunch of both the cookie and the poppy seeds. It shouldn’t have mattered all that much, but the texture and the depth of the biscuit was exquisite. Absolutely masterful, and she had to stop herself from taking the sole bite that was lingering between Kini’s middle finger and thumb.

  But as always, Kini could basically read her mind, and so she smiled and held out the last bite. Theo could’ve easily taken it with her fingers and popped it into her mouth, and not thought of anything but how frigging delicious it was for the few seconds before she headed back out to dance her ass off. But for whatever reason, she didn’t. No, she didn’t at all. Instead, Theo leaned forward and took the last bite from between Kini’s fingers. Not carefully, either. No dainty, mincing bite with bared teeth as though she were performing a surgical extraction.

  It was with a tip of her head and an opening of her mouth wide enough to take not only the remains of the cookie, but the tips of Kini’s fingers, too, running her tongue along the pads of Kini’s fingertips as she licked the biscuit into her waiting mouth. Slow enough to feel the drag of Kini’s callused and scarred fingertips against the sensitive surface of her tongue.

  Strange how she’d never noticed that about anyone else before, but who else’s fingers would she take into her mouth?

  Warmth sprang from somewhere in her chest and licked up to her face. She was always acting like a stupid kid. Kini didn’t seem to mind, though. She leaned against the concrete block wall as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred and looked out at where everyone else was boogying down, including Laurel, who’d finally found another partner, probably thanks in part to how much fu
n she’d had with Kini.

  Everyone was taking turns strutting their stuff between the rows of people who were clapping and cheering them on. Except, of course, for the Ashleys. Stella had found something to fix her shoe, and now they were monopolizing a space that should’ve flowed like a river. But no, they sat there like a dam and just as damn clueless that they were ruining everyone else’s fun.

  Theo shook her head and crossed her arms as she picked up a foot and rested her sole against the wall. “Ugh, I can’t even believe I could’ve ever thought Brock was a good person. He’s ridiculously self-centered, and you knew how shallow he was while I tried to fix him up with Laurel. And I was so sure he liked her back, but it was me being blind to things that were right in front of my face.”

  “Since you can admit that, I will say that you would’ve chosen better for him than he did for himself. Stella is insufferable, and Laurel is…if not who I would choose as a partner, at least a sweet and generous girl. Plenty of excellent qualities, and except for skills designed to draw attention to herself, I can’t think of any that Stella possesses.”

  Theo let Kini’s approval drip over her like honey. It’s not that she never received it, but it was rare and earnest enough that it tasted sweeter than that from other sources. Her father and Charlotte had always been generous about how delightful she was and what a pretty girl and smart and all those other things people liked to hear. Maybe overly generous, because she could never quite believe that everything they said to her was true. It was grain after grain of compliment sand, whereas Kini’s compliments took a more elegant shape that had required time and thought to form. Rare pearls that she’d like to roll around in her mouth before she swallowed them down.

  They stood in silence for a minute until the song was over, and then “Let’s Stay Together” came on, which Theo and Austin had agreed needed to be the last song of the night, and Austin jumped up in the crowd repeatedly, looking for her.

  “Theo, come on. This is it before we shut it down. Get your hot pants out here.”

  Yes, a lot of people would’ve found his grin and eager beckoning charming. Seductive, even. Theo couldn’t muster more than a friendly fondness. She turned to Kini. “I suppose I have to get out there, huh?”

  “You should. Have you saved the last dance for anyone?”

  There was a beat of hesitation before Theo could get out a reply. “No, but I’ll dance with you if you ask me.”

  Kini pushed off the wall, held out a crooked arm, and looked over her shoulder at Theo. “Shall we?”

  “Indeed, we shall.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Life was pretty goddamn good. The party had been a success, she’d been enjoying hanging out with Austin occasionally while he was in town, Laurel’s surfing had improved, she’d gotten to hang out with Kini a lot this week, she and Charlotte had a just-the-two-of-us girls’ night planned for the weekend, and even her dad had been suspiciously chill. This was the happiest she’d ever been, and in general Theo was pretty happy.

  She was even happy about the rain this morning, which would usually make her a bit scowly in the face. But when she’d checked the weather last night, she’d decided to shut off her alarm and enjoy sleeping in for once. It wasn’t something she did often, and half the time she ended up waking the same time she always did and going out to catch some waves, but sometimes she managed to get some extra shut-eye and she never regretted it. There was something nice about waking up in her own squishy bed, surrounded by blankets and pillows, and, yeah, a well-worn, well-loved stuffed mermaid, sunlight streaming through her curtains and casting rods of light over her bamboo floor.

  This morning with the rain, the sun wasn’t bright, but light still suffused her room and made her feel snuggly and warm but also ready to go downstairs, let her father force some kind of healthy concoction that would surely involve wheatgrass on her for breakfast, and have a leisurely morning in the shop. There would only be a single class of Beginners II later, and those were usually fun. People who were either good enough or stubborn enough to come back after having been through Beginners I, and those were attitudes and aptitudes she could get behind.

  Theo stretched her arms high over her head before letting them flop down to her sides and rolled over to face Mina, the yarn-haired stuffed mermaid she’d had forever. So long, in fact, that she’d meant to name her Marina, but hadn’t been able to pronounce it most of the time. Hence, Mina. “It’s going to be a good day.”

  She didn’t talk to Mina often. Anymore. Which she alternately felt embarrassed by—she was twenty-five years old, who still talked to their stuffed animals when they were twenty-five years old?—and guilty about. Mina probably got really freaking lonely because Theo neglected her so badly.

  So Theo gave her one last snuggle before she rolled out of bed and headed to the shower. Yep, it was going to be a chill, lovely day in paradise.

  Theo opened up the shop, flipping the sign on the door and pulling the blinds, turning on lights and starting up the register. Laurel was usually here already to help her, but it wasn’t like there were customers banging down her door and the familiar process of things that she’d done thousands of times before was kind of nice. Not soothing, exactly, because she didn’t need to be soothed, but comfortable. Familiar.

  The next thing she flicked on was the radio, so she would have a beat while she dusted. It wasn’t something she usually enjoyed—truthfully, she usually sloughed it off onto Laurel—but right now rocking around the shop with a bright pink feather duster was actually kind of fun, so that’s what she did as she bopped along to one of the latest pop hits. It wasn’t usually her jam, but bubblegum fit her mood pretty well.

  She was getting a dust rag out from under the counter when the bells at the front door went crazy, like someone hadn’t merely opened the door, but broken it down. What the hell? They’d had some rowdy high school boys in here last week who she’d had to give a talking to because they’d nearly damaged one of the boards, but even those delinquents would be in school now.

  Theo popped up from behind the counter to see what exactly was going on and was beyond surprised to see a shirtless Austin standing on the welcome mat with a soaking wet Laurel hefted in his arms like a damsel in distress. They looked like a water-logged romance novel cover. What in the ever-loving hell…

  But first things first, her curiosity could be sated later. She bounded over and helped to prop Laurel up by wrapping her friend’s arm around her own shoulder.

  “What happened? Are you okay?”

  Between Theo and Austin, they managed to get Laurel seated on a bench made out of old surfboards that people usually sat on to try out new pairs of kicks. Theo knelt in front of Laurel and tried to get her attention.

  “Laurel. Tell me what happened so I can help you. Are you hurt? Do you need to go to the hospital?” The closest hospital was in Kapaa, and Theo hadn’t been there for years, but surely between her and Austin, they could get Laurel there. “Talk to me, please.”

  While she waited for an answer, Theo looked Laurel over. There wasn’t any blood, obvious breaks, or angry welts. A few scrapes and it looked like her ankle might be a bit swollen, but nothing she’d call an emergency, unless she’d hit her head of course, and that would definitely be a trip to the ER—

  “I’m okay. Just really…shaken up. I don’t need a doctor. I’ll be fine. I’m…”

  Out of it. Laurel was really out of it, so Theo grabbed one of the towels they stocked from a pile on the shelf and wrapped it around Laurel to get her dry and warm. After chafing Laurel’s arms a few times, she glanced in Austin’s direction. He was standing there in his shorts and running shoes, hands on his hips, taking in heaving breaths. Sure, if he’d carried Laurel up from the water, he’d be winded.

  “I think she’s basically okay. Her ankle’s a little busted up. She couldn’t put a lot of weight on it, and she was pretty upset. I was taking my usual run on the beach, and I saw Laurel on her own out by the brea
k. She stood up to catch a wave and was riding it like a boss when the end curled over fast and knocked her off. I think she might’ve gotten scraped up by some of the rocks, and it looked like her board got caught. Probably yanked the strap on her ankle pretty good, maybe twisted it. She got free and got to the shore by herself, and I’d run over to help by then.”

  Austin sat down beside Laurel, slung an arm around the back of her shoulders, and gave her a squeeze. “You okay?”

  Laurel nodded, looking less wild.

  “You sure? You didn’t hit your head or anything, right?”

  A shake of Laurel’s head, her wet, stringy hair whipping around her face.

  “Okay, good.”

  Austin pushed a strand that had stuck to Laurel’s forehead behind her ear, and Laurel smiled, a weak fluttery thing, but a smile nonetheless. Yeah, she’d be fine. Although her ankle was definitely on its way to being swollen and tender. Theo could help with that and the whole drowned-rat thing.

  “Since we’ve established you don’t need a doctor, I’ll grab some ice from the house for your ankle and some dry clothes. Need anything else?”

  “No, that’s more than enough. Thanks, Theo. You’re the best.”

  Back in the house, Theo grabbed a dishcloth out of a drawer and a package of frozen peas out of the freezer. Her dad had even labeled it at some point, so it said in big Sharpied black letters: FIRST AID, NOT FOOD. Which, duh, they weren’t organic.

  She wrapped up the peas and drizzled a bit of water on the towel so it would feel good and cold on Laurel’s injured ankle, and she couldn’t help but think that Austin’s act of heroism could be the final nail in the coffin for Laurel’s crush on Brock. After all, nothing sealed people together like peril. Add some adrenaline here, a daring rescue there, physical proximity to another young, attractive person, and frankly, it wouldn’t surprise Theo one bit if Laurel and Austin were making out when she returned. Anyone with half a brain about these things would speculate.