If I Loved You Less Read online

  But Jessica had proved super-smart, and Beatrice had sent her away to school as soon as possible. First to a school on Oahu, then to a boarding school on the East Coast, and now she was in a doctorate program for biochemistry in Wisconsin. Whatever biochemistry was. Bea had surely explained it to Theo a hundred thousand times when Theo had stopped by to pay one of her obligatory visits and been forced to hear about Jessica’s latest accomplishments.

  So, no, even when Jessica had come back on some break from one of her fancy-ass schools or another, they had never gotten along super-well, despite Mr. Sullivan’s and Bea’s best efforts. But Laurel—Theo could work with Laurel. It would just take a while.

  Before they could set off again, someone else came down the beach toward them. And as luck would have it, it was precisely the guy Theo wanted to see. She’d been plotting how to run across Brock’s path sometime this week in order to set her matchmaking scheme in motion.

  “Brock!”

  Theo took a quick look at Laurel who was still a bit red-faced with exertion. Maybe it could pass for a charming blush? Also, that messy ponytail would have to go, so Theo wrenched it out of Laurel’s hair with a quick yank and a tousle. It wasn’t great, but it’d have to do because Brock was approaching.

  Shirtless and sweating from his own barefoot run, he didn’t look so bad for a desk jockey who spent most of his time behind a computer screen or glad-handing tourists. For a dude, at any rate. Women were an easier sell, but either way, Theo hadn’t dated much. There simply weren’t that many people who she was interested in enough to put up with the hassle of a relationship.

  But here was Brock with his blond hair bleached even blonder, his dimples, and his hospitality-industry-manager standard bright-white teeth. Theo could tell with one glance at Laurel that she was at least impressed.

  “Hey.” She greeted Brock with a quick hug and stepped back to include Laurel. “Brock, this is Laurel. Laurel, this is Brock. Laurel’s going to be working in the shop and over at Jasmine’s. She’s new in town.”

  She hoped her artfully raised eyebrow would let Brock know Laurel was single and available.

  “Laurel, nice to meet you.” Brock offered a hand to the speechless girl and blinded her with a winning smile. Oh, yes, it would be so, so easy to make Laurel forget about Bobby.

  “Nice to meet you, too,” Laurel finally managed, blinking her dark eyes.

  “I’d much rather chat with you lovely ladies—” there was a titter from Laurel, and Theo’s matchmaking heart sang “—but I’ve got to get home and showered before my shift starts. Our new night manager is awful, so who knows what kind of mess he’ll have left for me. Nice running into you, though.”

  He winked at Laurel, and Theo thought her friend was going to swoon. Who even did that anymore? It’s not like she had any smelling salts in her bikini top, so Laurel would have to suffer a face full of seawater if she expected to be revived.

  Then Brock was gone, taking off down the beach, back toward his place in town. Theo watched Laurel getting an eyeful of his muscled back and lean, pumping legs as he ran. Yep, easy peasy.

  Chapter Four

  A couple of weeks after Laurel’s arrival, Theo had gotten her out on a board. It might be another week or so until she stood up for any length of time, but Theo had to hand it to her, she was trying.

  They were perched out on their boards at the surf break, legs gently churning the water so Theo could talk about the art of waiting for the right wave.

  “You have to paddle fast enough to keep up with the wave, otherwise you’ll never catch one.”

  Laurel nodded, but Theo had her doubts that her friend really understood. Girl was hella book-smart, but wasn’t so hot with practical skills or having any clue about the outdoors whatsoever. Maybe it was the whole northern Californian/New Englander thing. When it was warm all the time and serious storms were a rarity, the distinction between indoors and outdoors was less important than it would be in someplace it snowed regularly.

  Theo had done her best to introduce Laurel around town, and of course, working at the shop and Jasmine’s helped. She’d basically met everyone who was worth meeting. It was super-gratifying when Laurel shouted at a figure on the beach, someone Theo had been making sure they “accidentally” ran into during his runs.

  “Hey, Brock!”

  The figure stopped and waved, then gestured for them to come into shore. Theo took a look back at the waves that were coming in and egg-beatered her legs to maneuver closer to Laurel. “Okay, I’m going to catch the next one, and then you’ll wait one, two, three, and you’ll grab the fourth one, got it? You know what to do. Paddle like crazy and then pop up, left foot in front and ride it in nice and easy. Brock will be enchanted.”

  Laurel looked unconvinced, but Theo didn’t have time to offer her anything other than an encouraging thumbs-up before she set off at a full-on paddle herself. It was a small, easy wave, the kind that was good for tourists since it was big enough to ride but not much bigger so they wouldn’t get overwhelmed. Low on the fun scale for her, but catching the worst wave was still better than doing almost anything else.

  She popped up, settled into her balance, feeling the way the wave moved under her board, and rode in easily almost all the way to shore. Stripping off her ankle strap, she hefted her board under her arm and greeted Brock with a high-five.

  “How’s it going? I’ve seen you two out here every morning.”

  “Good.” Good was maybe an overstatement since Laurel still couldn’t reliably stand up on her board, even though they’d had decent luck in the wave department every day. But heck if she was going to say that to Brock. Her objective was to make Laurel look desirable, not incompetent. Maybe it hadn’t been the best idea to have her come in on her own because she’d missed the best wave in the set and was now paddling to try for the next one, which would almost certainly be the worst. Good thing Brock wasn’t exactly an expert surfer himself or he’d surely notice. At least Laurel’s paddle looked good.

  She even popped up pretty well, getting her legs underneath her, and then crouched for all she was worth. It wasn’t pretty. Nope, Theo couldn’t call it that, but she was excited that Laurel stayed up, only wobbling a little and eventually splashing in when she got to the shallows. Brock waded in after her and helped her out of the water, even picked up her board, and Laurel—that little minx, Theo hadn’t known she’d had it in her—put a hand on Brock’s shoulder for balance as she undid her ankle strap so Brock could haul her board in.

  Before they could get to her, Theo took up her own board and practically ran to the showers to give them more time to flirt. Maybe even time for Brock to ask Laurel out? God, she hoped so. She was getting impatient. Do what I want you to already.

  When Laurel made it to the showers, Theo hip-checked her, clapping her hands and demanding, “Well, did he ask you out yet?”

  “No.”

  Argh, what was it going to take to get this show on the road? Honestly, this was getting ridiculous. She was going to lose all of her matchmaking street cred if these people didn’t shape up and ship out on the love boat together soon.

  “But—”

  Oh, a “but” could be good.

  “But he did invite us to a party this weekend at his friend Tadashi’s place? He said you knew where it was.”

  Theo couldn’t help the squee that made its way out of her throat. It wasn’t a date, but an invite to a party was a good step. Better by far than the sitting, staring, doing nothing those two had been engaged in for the whole week.

  “Oh, I do. And Tadashi throws great parties. Let’s start going through your closet after work to pick out an outfit.”

  For the first time since she’d arrived, Laurel looked genuinely happy. “That sounds great. Thank you so much, Theo. You’ve been the best friend a girl could ask for.”

  “My pleasure.” Theo slipped her board under one arm and looped her other through Laurel’s so they could head back to start their day a
t the shop.

  A few days later, Theo came back from a lesson with half a dozen tourists. They’d been fun, which was nice. You’d think people would be in a good mood when they were away from home and their responsibilities and in paradise, but not all of them were. And too many of them enjoyed flirting with her.

  No, flirting wasn’t the problem—flirting was fun. It was the gross innuendos and heavy-handed come-ons that skeeved her out. Not this time. It had been a group of couples who’d come together. Not only were they pleasant but also reasonably athletic—they’d all succeeded in standing up and riding at least one wave, so they’d left happy, too. Job well done.

  When Theo got back inside the shop, though, it was to see Laurel perched on the stool behind the counter and leaning over, elbows on the smooth wood surface, chin in her hands, looking dreamily at, dammit, Bobby Martin. Why was he trying to interfere in Theo’s matchmaking plans? And why was he even here? It was coming up on lunch, and it’s not like Kini had other help at the bakery. He should get his well-meaning-but-mediocre ass back to work.

  “Hey, guys.” The two practically leapt back. What exactly had she interrupted? Whatever it was, she was going to keep on interrupting because Laurel was not going to throw away her shot, not under Theo’s watch. “Bobby, shouldn’t you be at Queen’s?”

  Bobby tossed a glance over his shoulder at the kitschy clock shaped like a hula girl on a surfboard. “Oh, shit, yeah, I need to get back. But, uh, Laurel?”

  Laurel batted those thick black lashes of hers, and yeah, Theo totally got why Bobby would have a thing for her, but that was not going to happen. Laurel could do way better.

  “Yeah?”

  “I hope I’ll see you Saturday?”

  Laurel smiled, looking awkwardly pleased. “Me too. I mean, I hope I’ll see you on Saturday. Obviously I’ll see me. Because mirrors. And I’m myself. But…never mind.”

  Yes, this was a girl desperately in need of help.

  “All right, all right.” Theo shooed Bobby out the door, but not without him taking one last look at Laurel over his shoulder. Then Theo turned on Laurel, who was gazing lustfully toward the door Bobby had walked out of. “And you. What did I tell you about this? Bobby is a decent guy, but you could do way better. Like, hello, Brock is totally into you.”

  “You really think so?”

  Internally, Theo smirked. Hope was glowing in Laurel’s eyes. Despite her earlier attentions to Bobby, it looked like her alliances weren’t particularly attached and could easily be shifted to a different and better object for her affections.

  “Yes, I really think so. But that’s enough talking about our weekend plans. Let me show you how to put this new inventory into the system, and then I’ll show you where it goes.”

  Saturday passed like most other Saturdays had since Laurel came along a few weeks ago. Theo let Laurel sleep in so she could get an actual workout and some waves in, then it was three lessons with newbie tourists who would in all probability never set foot on a surfboard again, and her father reminding her to be careful every time she left the shop despite the fact that she’d been surfing this beach almost every day since before she could remember.

  It was getting to be lunch and the shop was quiet, so Theo stretched her arms over her head and let out a big yawn. “Theo specials from Queen’s?”

  Laurel nodded her agreement. “I can go get them if you want.”

  Uh, yeah, no. She was not going to give Laurel another chance to flirt with Bobby, especially not unsupervised.

  “Nah, I’ll walk over. I think I might’ve pulled something while I was warming up this morning and I could do with stretching my legs.”

  “I could go with you?”

  Despite Laurel’s hopeful offer, Theo had to decline. If Laurel was that excited about the sandwiches, it would’ve been one thing. But she wasn’t—she only wanted to flirt with Bobby. Nice try, but hell no.

  So Theo set out, nursing her fictitious injury, and made her way to Queen’s. Once there, she didn’t want to deal with Bobby’s cow-eyed asking after Laurel, so Theo bypassed the line at the counter and went straight to the back, despite Bobby’s objections.

  She found Kini putting together some simple butter mochi. Not hard to make, but they took forever in the oven, so Theo had never made them herself. Besides, she was convinced Kini put something in them to make the custardy squares extra ono. More convinced still when Kini looked at her, dumped a tablespoon of something into the batter, and quickly stirred it in.

  Theo shot her a quick side-eye, but walked over to the fridge where the sandwich ingredients were waiting for her. Plunking the bowls on the counter, Theo reached for a couple of rolls from the stash in the back and sliced them open with a bread knife. Hell, if this whole surf shop manager thing didn’t turn out, she could supplant Bobby and work for Kini.

  She made and wrapped the sandwiches, scooped some taro chips into a bag for her and Laurel to share, and after tossing the lot on the counter near the backdoor, she headed to Kini. While the other woman was still scraping the batter from the sides of the mixer, Theo draped herself over Kini’s back, inhaling the sweat-sticky and sweet scent of the nape of her neck and feeling the trickle of perspiration running down Kini’s back from being in the kitchen since the early hours.

  Kini didn’t cease her motions but turned her head. “Okay?”

  “Yeah. Just saying hi.”

  Theo could feel the vibration of Kini’s fond chuckle better than she could hear it. “Hi.”

  When Theo had nearly fallen asleep from Kini’s rhythmic, unlabored breathing and steady scraping, she had to blink her eyes open at Kini’s voice.

  “You going to Tadashi’s party?”

  “Mmhmm. Are you?”

  Kini shrugged, her shoulder rolling beneath Theo’s head. “Yeah, I think so.”

  That meant yes. Interesting. She could pry more, but really, she should get back to the shop. Laurel was pretty good on her own, but she had a tendency to get flustered if several people came in the shop at once.

  “See you there, then.”

  Theo bit Kini’s bare shoulder just because it was there and she could, leaving the slightest teeth marks in Kini’s light brown skin before she skipped away and grabbed the sack of food off the counter. Kini’s scolding chased her out the door, but there was no bite behind the bark.

  “Get out of here, you menace.”

  After chowing down on their lunch, Theo and Laurel dealt with the afternoon tourist traffic until it was time to close up shop and get ready for the party.

  All the locals were talking about it, and even Kini was planning to go—Kini who was more than happy to stay away from these things, dismissing them as frivolous. She was usually content to spend her time in the apartment above the bake shop she called home or out on the beach or visiting her friends and extended family. Parties weren’t so much her thing, but for whatever reason, she was going to be there tonight.

  Maybe parties were frivolous, but they were also fun, and if Kini had decided she could let a little fun into her life, well, that was fine. It didn’t have anything to do with Theo, really. What was most pressing was not that her friend was going to be at the party, but that Laurel was about to wear something not at all acceptable.

  “No.”

  Laurel looked at Theo in the mirror and then turned, fisting the fabric of her skirt. “What’s wrong with it?”

  “There’s nothing wrong with it…” Theo pushed up from her spot on Laurel’s bed. A few articles of clothing slipped onto the floor as she did, and Theo piled them back up on the rumpled blanket. They could hang the whole lot up when they were finished finally picking out what Laurel was going to wear tonight. Which, please, let it not be this because…no. “It’s just that you look more like you’re going to your cousin’s high school graduation party than to a backyard kegger. I mean, it’s not a frat party, but it’s chill. You don’t need to wear a dress. And if you do, I wouldn’t recommend that one.”


  Laurel’s face and hands fell, her posture descending into hopelessness. “Then what am I supposed to wear? This is impossible.”

  Laurel went so far as to flop face-first onto her over-piled bed, sending more clothes avalanching onto the floor, which was crowded with choices in shoes.

  A deep breath. That’s what they both needed. Sometimes it was helpful to remember that most people didn’t grow up the way Theo had. She’d never had to worry about much, if anything. She’d always had enough of everything. She’d always been popular and the center of things when she’d wanted to be. She’d always had a whole town that looked out for her. Her dad was beyond chill about most things and brought the phrase unconditional love to a whole new level. He thought she was the best thing to walk the earth and probably would no matter what she looked like, no matter what she accomplished, no matter how she behaved. Nothing would change how he felt about her. Sometimes she forgot other people hadn’t grown up with anything remotely like that. So she’d take a deep breath, help Laurel pick out a reasonable outfit, and then they’d be off to have a good time. That’s how things were going to go because Theo was determined for it to be that way.

  “Okay, okay.” Theo stepped over small piles of fashion detritus to pat Laurel on her back and help her up without either of them tripping and falling over the mess. She took Laurel by the shoulders and looked her straight in the eyes. “We’re going to find you an outfit that you feel good in, that you look relaxed in, and that will help you blend in with the rest of the crowd.”

  Laurel looked at her, doubt scribbled all over her face. “Do you think that’s actually possible?”

  “I do.” Theo began riffling through her options again. “There are some things that I’m not super-good at, but let it never be said I can’t dress for a party.”

  Eventually she came up with a cutoff denim skirt, a dark turquoise tee with shoulder cut-outs, and some brown leather sandals with turquoise and orange beading on them.